BEND BUT DON'T BREAK

Dear W Reader,

Let me gist you about something important today—flexibility and patience in marriage. Two scarce resources in life and marriage these days and i am sure you agree.

For me, I didn’t realize how much of this I needed until life served me some serious surprises, and I’m sure you can relate. Ah! You know how we like to plan everything as women—how we imagine marriage would be, how many kids, where we’d live. But, omo, life has its own plans for me o!

Lets gist about the one for Canada, When I first got married, I had this perfect idea of how everything would be. My husband (A structural engineer) and I moved to Canada not long after, thinking, "Ah, once we get here, the money will start flowing, jobs will land in our laps, and life will be smooth." Wifey, who I was deceiving ehn?

Well, things didn’t go as planned. My husband struggled to find a good job, and I was here trying to balance work, home, and school. Some days, I just sat on the couch looking at the ceiling like, Is this how life and immigration is? But one thing I learned early on in life was the power of flexibility—and I’m not talking about yoga o!

Marriage is unpredictable, gaskiya. Some days, things will be perfect, and other days, you’ll be wondering if you can actually survive without shouting. But when life comes at you like that, it’s flexibility and patience that will keep you from pulling your hair out.

When i and huby moved to Canada, we thought we had everything mapped out. We actually created the 5-year plan! But when we landed here, nothing worked according to that plan. My husband ended up working at a warehouse which is not alien to alot of us reading this, and me? i was at home with the twins, trying to finish an online course i took on while also trying to keep my sanity. E no easy.

One day i had to confess to a big sis of mine, "Sis, this marriage thing in Canada, nobody told me I would need this much patience!" She laughed, but I could also tell it wasn’t easy for her. She said to me, Things will work good but it will depend on your ability to adapt. so instead of focusing on how things should be, why not try to focus on how things could be.

Instead of fighting over who’s doing what or why things aren’t going smoothly, why not work together? So i decided to search for small jobs online, $10 per hour, my husband had to pick up extra shifts, and somehow, we managed. The secret? Flexibility and patience. We chose not to let the stress tear us apart. Instead, we learned to laugh at the small things and be patient with each other’s journey. i was sure he was dealing with a lot in his mind and me as well.

You know what they say, "Rome wasn’t built in a day." Neither is marriage. It takes time, effort, and a whole lot of waiting for things to fall into place. And that waiting period? Ah! That’s when patience is your best friend. For me, i think "If you start seeing your marriage like a team project instead of a solo assignment, everything changes."

So, my dear, if you’re in a place where things aren’t moving as you expected, don’t fret too much. Bend, don’t break. Life will test you, but flexibility will help you survive. Take it one day at a time, compromise when you need to, and most importantly, laugh at the craziness. Trust me, it will all work out in time, just like it did for me and many others.

I’m here with you sis, and I know you’ve got what it takes!

I hope this helps, Till next time

Your Wifey in This Journey

Amara.