A Letter to the Ones Who Feel Like Leaving..

Today marks the anniversary of the day I made a choice that could have changed everything. Four years ago, on the 28th of December 2020, I wrote a letter, a letter that I thought would mark the end of my marriage. I had poured my heart into it, every word trembling with the weight of my emotions. Writing has always been my solace, my way of making sense of the chaos, and I hoped that someday, my words would weave themselves into a story worth telling. But that day, my story felt like it was coming to an end.

The letter read:

Oga, good morning. It has been ten long years, and out of those years, I can only count a few that I’ve truly enjoyed. My hands are shaky as I write this, but I need you to read it after I’m gone.

This marriage feels like an endless cycle of pain, of not understanding your actions, and of questioning my place in your heart. I have loved you deeply, so deeply, but it feels as though my love is invisible to you.

While I appreciate your struggles with depression and do not wish to invalidate your trauma, I also have a life ahead of me. A life full of hope and boundless opportunities. If you are not ready to face your pain, it will consume everything I’ve worked for, everything I’ve dreamed of.

So, today, I am stepping out. I hope you will come for me, but only after you’ve done the work to heal. I will wait, but not forever. Please, do what needs to be done before it’s too late.

I packed my bag with trembling hands, tears streaming down my face. My heart was heavy, torn between the love I still held for him and the aching need to protect myself. As I reached for the door, a sharp pain struck my head like a lightning bolt. The next thing I remember was falling, and then nothing.

When I woke up hours later, the world looked hazy, but one thing was clear: my husband was there, sitting by my bedside with a look of sorrow etched deep into his face. When he saw my eyes flutter open, he hugged me tightly and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

I later learned that I had collapsed because of a brain tumor(story for another day). Surgery was imminent. I thought the letter I wrote would have broken us, but instead, it became a turning point. My husband took that letter as a wake-up call, not a death knell. From that moment, he became my greatest support. Through surgeries, recovery, and the long road to healing, he was by my side every step of the way.

It has been five years now. The tumor is gone, and so is the bitterness that once defined our marriage. My husband is not the same man I almost walked away from; he is better, stronger, and more loving than I ever thought possible.

I often think back to that day and wonder: what if he had taken it the other way? What if I hadn’t given him the chance to grow, to heal, to fight for us?

To the Wife Who’s Ready to Leave

I see you. I know how tired you feel. I know how tempting it is to throw in the towel and walk away, to start over somewhere else. But let me ask you this: what if there’s a better version of your story waiting for you just on the other side of patience?

Before you leave, consider trying one more time.

1. Pray and Seek Clarity: Prayer has a way of softening hearts and opening doors. Ask for strength, wisdom, and the courage to try again.

2. Focus on the Good: Every marriage has cracks, but it also has its good parts. Look for the moments of kindness, laughter, and love. Build on those.

3. Encourage Growth: Healing isn’t easy, but it’s possible. Encourage your partner to seek help, therapy, support groups, or simply starting the journey of self-awareness.

   
   

You don’t have to ignore your own needs, but don’t let pain write the ending to a story that might still have a beautiful chapter ahead. Fight for your marriage, for your love, for the promise you made when you said “I do.”

Sometimes, the greatest victories come when we least expect them.

With love,

A Wife Who Chose to Stay

Osayuki