A NEW LENS CHANGED IT FOR ME...

Dear W Reader,

Thank you so much for allowing me this space to connect with you today. I’m not here to share bad news or grand advice, just a part of my journey. My hope is that, in sharing, you’ll find encouragement to live fully and freely right where you are.

A few years back, I found myself in a place where I kept waiting for my husband to change in ways that I thought would bring me happiness i always thought i wanted. I had a picture in my mind of what I needed from him—more affection, more quality time, more support with the little things. I thought, “Once he changes, I’ll finally be happy.” So, I waited, i waited o, I hoped. I prayed, but the changes didn’t come, at least not in the way I expected. And in the meantime, my happiness felt stuck in limbo, tied up in this waiting game.

Then one evening, in the middle of my frustration, I sat down, feeling so tired of waiting, so tired of placing my happiness in someone else’s hands. In that moment, I knew something had to change, but I realized it wasn’t him to change; it was me. I needed to shift my perspective. I needed to stop looking at what I was missing and start focusing on what I had. So, I made a decision to rise above the circumstances that had been weighing me down. Not to ignore them, but to look at them from a different angle. So I went to the Lord in prayer, I complained bitterly, that day i felt the Lord gently whispering to my heart, “Why are you waiting for someone else to fill you when I’ve already made you whole?” In that quiet moment, I realized that I had been looking to my husband to be my source of joy—a role that only Jesus can fulfill. God began to reveal to me that, while marriage is a precious gift, my true identity, peace, and happiness come from Him alone. I needed to stop looking at what I felt was missing and begin focusing on the fullness I already had in Christ.

I began investing in myself in ways I hadn’t done in years. I picked up old hobbies, started seeing friends more often, and even took a few risks pursuing some dreams I’d buried. I can’t say that everything suddenly became perfect. But something in me shifted. I wasn’t waiting anymore; I was living. And as I embraced this new lens, I found that the things that once frustrated me didn’t have the same grip on my emotions. They lost some of their power because I had found something deeper within myself.

So, to you, my sisters, I say this: don’t wait for him to change before you choose to be happy. Happiness is yours to create, no matter the circumstances. Yes, care about his feelings and support his growth, but nurture yourself, too. Shift your perspective—not to adjust to the challenges, but to rise above them. You’ll find a peace that allows you to respond to life in a way that’s rooted in strength, not frustration.

Thank you for allowing me to share this with you. It’s an honor to journey alongside you, as we each learn to live with joy and freedom, one day at a time.

With love and encouragement,

Folusho.