IT'S MY STORY... I OWN IT

Dear Wifey Reader,

I remember those early years of marriage so well, the dreams, the laughter, the surprises, and also the moments that felt hard to navigate. There’s so much love, but sometimes there’s also doubt, insecurity, and confusion. We all want the very best marriage we can have, but it can feel overwhelming, can’t it?

Something I’ve learned that I want to pass on to you is this: it’s better to live on the corner of a rooftop than to be in a big house with constant arguments and criticism. I know this sounds blunt, but it’s so true. When we fall into patterns of nagging or constantly pointing out what our husbands could do better, it doesn’t create the connection we long for. Instead, it makes the home feel tense, and sometimes we end up feeling like we’re not even close to the man we love so much.

It can also be easy to feel jealous or possessive, especially in those first years, where it’s all new and we’re still learning to trust and build that deeper sense of security. But remember, we can’t be suspicious of everyone who gets close to him, it will only exhaust your heart and build a wall between you two. Trust him and rest in the fact that your love and respect for each other are enough. Lean into that trust, even when insecurity tries to creep in.

Another thing I had to realize (and I’m still learning) is that sometimes I would think everyone else was the problem but me. It’s humbling to accept that none of us are perfect, even when we feel sure we’re right. But that’s okay. Marriage gives us room to grow, both together and on our own. So when you feel frustrated, take a deep breath, and ask yourself if there’s anything you can change in yourself that might make things a bit lighter. I’ve found that when I focus on being peaceful and gracious, my husband naturally opens up more, and there’s room for us to connect more honestly. (Remember this is my story)

If you ever feel like it’s all getting too heavy, I want to tell you this: you’re not alone, and it’s okay to ask for help. Seek out women who have been where you are, who can encourage you and remind you of the love and grace you have within. And most importantly, find healing and rest in God. He knows us better than anyone, understands all of our wounds and our fears, and He is the one who can help us build a calm and joyful spirit.

And lastly, protect the peace of your home, dear sister. If things feel tense, take a step back and ask God to help you bring peace. We can’t live in an environment of constant stress and expect it to be filled with love. Make your home a place of refuge, a safe, warm space where both of you can relax, laugh, and be your truest selves.

May God fill you with peace, wisdom, and an overwhelming love that spills out into your home.

With all my heart,

Your co Wife Chi